Slayers- Diplomacy Ch.23

Chapter 23. Ruined.

After having batted off Lopa's more embarrassing personal questions, Filia had finally ditched the crowd. All she wanted now was to go to her room and lie down. She couldn't stand being around other people now, not with everything that was swirling around inside her head. She just wanted a little peace.

But she couldn't go back to her room; not yet. If she went, she'd risk running into Rasmus, and she didn't want to have to deal with him. She wanted to keep away from there until Cleon found her and told her that Rasmus was gone; then she could crawl into her room and escape for a little while; maybe figure things out.

But there was no escape yet. Maybe Rasmus was being difficult. So, deciding that she at least had to sit down, Filia found a nook in a less populated hallway, and sat down.

She didn't know whether to try to think or to try not to think. Maybe if she could just string a couple thoughts together then this whole thing wouldn't be as confusing as it was. Then again, maybe if she strung a few thoughts together she'd realize what trouble she was really in.

And she still didn't feel guilty! That was the thing of it. Even after she'd had all this time to reflect on it, even after hearing about Rasmus's rant, and even after seeing Cleon's face. Sure, she felt bad for hurting Cleon, but she didn't intrinsically feel that what she and Xellos had done was wrong. While it had been happening it had all seemed so… clear that that was the right thing to do.

Which was crazy. And might have been a sign that she'd completely thrown out her moral compass and just didn't care anymore. But this didn't feel like… stealing.

Maybe she did love him. Maybe she didn't feel bad because she'd acted out of love.

But what sane person could honestly fall in love with that evil, manipulative, obnoxious, arrogant, no good—

She realized at this point that she was standing again and clenching her fists. She self-consciously sat back down.

How did he always do that to her? He could rile her without even doing anything, damn him!

But it had always been like that. Now that she came to think about it, even when she'd hated him… or at least only hated him, she probably had expounded more thought and more energy on him than any single other person in her life. She'd… she'd cared about him more.

Of course, most of that caring had involved desperately wanting to knock the smug out of him, preferably with something both heavy and sharp. But it was a sort of caring, nonetheless.

She wondered if it had started out that way with him too. She was absolutely sure that when they first met he couldn't stand her. But, while things had never been friendly between them (uh… at least before the negotiation room incident), there had been a… change in how he treated her.

All that negative energy between them… how did the desire to tear each other limb from limb transform into…?

Good Lord, Filia thought with a detached sort of horror, what kind of people are we? I mean, Xellos has an excuse: he's a demon. But I'm at least supposed to be above dark and dangerous obsessions.

And Xellos thought she was attracted to danger…

It had to be something like… like magnets. Like charges repel. Cleon was disturbingly similar to how she'd behaved when she'd just gotten out of the temple (although she liked to think she was less sweaty), and she had absolutely no interest in him; Xellos had gotten that right at least. Unlike charges attract. Could you get more opposite than a dragon and a monster? Than a priestess and a murderer?

This pull between them… the fusion magic… all of it. Could it all be because they were so deeply, fascinatingly, different from each other than they couldn't help but be drawn to one another? It sounded like the type of things that stories were made of.

She folded her arms. No. It would've sufficed as an explanation, but the more she thought about it, the more dissatisfied she was with it. Maybe it said something, but it just wasn't enough.

Because when she thought about it, it didn't go all the way to the core. Opposites, were they? True opposites… not exactly. By that logic they should've been as far apart along the spectrum as it was possible to be. Filia had once believed herself to be as virtuous as the temple had brought her up to be. But she couldn't be pure as light. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be.

And a priestess in this fairy-tale union on dark and light would have to be as pure as light. A priestess like that wouldn't disobey her people to raise the last of a race they'd called enemy; a priestess like that wouldn't be willing to play politics with a bunch of criminals just because they could claim royalty; a priestess like that wouldn't quit being a priestess; and if a priestess like that did sleep with Xellos – because of the aforementioned principle of opposites – she would at least have the decency to be ashamed of herself.

And if Xellos thought he was in the deep end of evil – which she wasn't even entirely sure he did at this point – then he was dead wrong. Certainly, he was all those despicable things that she'd called him before. But he nevertheless managed to crack jokes, protect people he needed to, and save the freaking world on one occasion. Sure, he did those things for the wrong reasons, but Filia reflected that her sins had been committed for the right reasons. That didn't make the things she did less wrong, and by that token, Xellos's darkly motivated deeds still carried as much good.

They weren't really opposites when you looked carefully. They were both nearer to the center… and nearer to each other. Which was… amazing when she thought about it.

Is it… she thought, almost dumbfounded; is it okay if I love him?

Of course it's not, logic kicked in. You can't even say for sure if he loves you. And whatever the case, he's not going to miss an opportunity to use a connection to you. If you're not very careful you could end up endangering your entire race. And you saw Rasmus's reaction. Do you think it's going to be easy when he gets to the temple and everyone finds out what you've done? You've committed the biggest taboo in history! Your people will shun you and spit at the sound of your name at the very least, and kill you at the most. And don't think you'll be any safer when it comes to Xellos's crowd. Those monsters will cut you down as soon as you stop being useful.

Yes, Filia thought. But that's all… outside stuff. I can't control that. I meant… is it okay with me if I love him? Could I be okay with that?

She stood up, as if in a dream, and began to walk down the hallway.

She was going on. She wasn't going to walk on eggshells anymore. And if she ran into Rasmus or anyone else along the way, what of it? Who cared what they thought? They hadn't been there from the beginning. They didn't know.

But Filia was pretty sure she knew. And the surprising thing was that she was okay about it. She was finally okay.

*****

Filia strode down the hall on a rush of newfound self-acceptance. At this point she almost wished she'd run into Rasmus with his letter. Then she could tell him off. She really wanted to tell someone off, and for once, Xellos would not have been her first choice. Telling Rasmus what she thought of his high-and-mighty attitude wouldn't really be closure, because if anyone at the temple found out what had happened between her and Xellos, it would be just the beginning of that kind of treatment. But it would have at least made her feel better to shout at him a bit in the here and now.

She walked up to the room Cleon and Rasmus shared and was surprised to see the door open. Did that mean Rasmus had already left and she'd be denied the chance to confront him? …It seemed kind of careless for a bodyguard to leave his hotel door open. Maybe that had been Cleon. Goodness knew he was distracted lately.

The light was off, and the thick line of trees outside the window meant that the room was somewhat dark even though it was barely midday.

She took a hesitant step forward. "Is anyone in there?" she called. "Mister Cleon? Mister Rasmus?"

When no answer came back she slowly sidestepped the door, careful not to brush against it and cause it to creak open even further, and quietly walked into the room. She gasped as she turned the corner.

"Mister Cleon!" she cried, running up to the prone dragon's side.

He wasn't moving. He was breathing, but he was otherwise still and completely unresponsive. A tiny puddle, barely more than a trickle, of blood was by his head, staining her hand as she reached out to him.

She drew back in horror. "What's going on?" she asked in a shaken voice. "Who did this to you?"

She didn't have much time to contemplate this, as an arm shot around her neck, banging against her throat so hard that her vision was clouded by scorching navy spots for a moment. She coughed.

"You just had to ruin everything, didn't you? You and that monster," hiss a voice in her ear. It was an angry voice and desperate too. Gruff and horrifyingly familiar.

"Rasmus?" Filia croaked out, against the hold choking away at her throat. "What are you doing? What have you done to Cleon?"

"Just put him to sleep for a little while. I don't think he's dead," Rasmus said in a tone of barely suppressed rage. "But then again, who cares? He's just like you and that so-called Supreme Elder when you get down to it. All of you are trying to degrade the good name of dragon. I won't allow it. Not anymore."

Filia struggled just to keep breathing. She couldn't take this. She'd finally thought she was safe and now…

"I had it all planned out so carefully," Rasmus said, the edge in his voice getting sharper as his grip around her tightened. "As soon as the new Supreme Elder rigged his way into the job, I knew something must be done. And when he announced his plans to send a diplomat to the human world summit… I knew I couldn't wait any longer."

"Imagine," Rasmus practically spat derisively. "Dragons kowtowing to monsters, relying on weak and worthless humans, and trading our secrets for their rubbish. A true dragon could never allow this!"

"All I needed," Rasmus said, anguish rising in his voice, "was one spark. Anything to throw the unrest of the dragon community into a call to war. Even the new Supreme Elder wouldn't be able to stop it. Only a war with the monsters could bring us back to what we always should have been."

Filia swallowed laboriously. She was being held against her will by a crazy person. Anyone who wanted to restart the War of the Monsters Fall had to be out of their mind. She hoped none of the foam that must've been shooting out of his mouth would end up in her hair.

"If the monsters killed the diplomat sent out to accomplish all those awful things, it would solve everything," Rasmus went on fervently. "The Supreme Elder's policies would be destroyed and war between our races would recommence." An angry silence followed. "But I couldn't rely on the monsters to do that. Both our races have clung onto life so long that we've forgotten our principles: forgotten that the only way we can deal with one another is through warfare."

Filia couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought it had been all neatly sorted out. How could Rasmus have been… "The Pro-Human League—"

"Ha!" Rasmus barked with venom. "Those clowns almost destroyed the entire thing before it was off the ground with their interference. Bad luck and intrusions have dogged me this entire time. First there was that old commander. I hadn't counted on him being there. The old man can probably smell cyanide a mile away. Then there were those trigger-happy Pro-Human Leaguers. And worst of all Xellos. He's been on to me since the poisoning, and has succeeded, along with your half-wit assistance, in bringing down the entire plan."

"He… does that," Filia barely managed to get out against the pressure on her throat.

"And you're proud of that, are you?" Rasmus asked, sounding utterly incensed now. "As much as I'd love to kill you, it wouldn't do me any good anymore. You and Xellos and those Pro-Human Leaguers saw to that."

Filia tried to see this as a good sign through her haze of pain and fear. At least it meant she wouldn't be dying… yet.

"Those damn Pro-Human Leaguers," Rasmus growled. "How could I possibly sell these assassination attempts as plots of the monster race to the other dragons with those idiots claiming responsibility? One lousy shot. All they were responsible for was one lousy shot. They're just out to bolster their reputations now."

That sparked a recollection in Filia's mind. "But you saved me!" she shouted in disbelief. "You took a bullet for me!"

"Yes," Rasmus said sourly. "Because a war with some fanatic human group means nothing to me. I needed to kill you and frame the monsters for your death. I couldn't do that if you were gunned down by some speciestist sniper."

It was twisted, it was insane, but somehow it worked. And Filia had trusted him so much after he took that shot. She hadn't counted on the fact that he'd been saving her to kill her himself.

"Getting shot was a major set-back," Rasmus grimaced. "But at least asking for extra medical care was a good alibi."

Another remembrance shot through Filia's brain. "You were pretending to be more hurt than you were that whole time!" she declared, slightly numbed. "Xellos said you were taking too long…"

"That's because he was paying attention," Rasmus said, in a tone suggesting that paying attention should be punishable by death. And even if the Pro-Human Leaguers hadn't interfered, even if their claims could be refuted, that monster has destroyed my plan beyond salvaging."

"I knew, I knew," Rasmus said, almost as if scolding himself. "I knew something wasn't right the moment I saw you two. Too… close. But how could I have possibly guessed the unspeakable truth? I thought you were a know-nothing pawn of the Supreme Elder, just like Cleon, but I couldn't believe that you were that much of a disgrace."

Filia would've pointed out that trying to murder people and frame others for it to start, of all things, a war is pretty disgraceful in and of itself. But it hurt to talk and she was certain the comment wasn't worth the reaction.

"How could I possibly frame him for your death?" he asked. "When it became ridiculously clear as each day went past that you two were involved? It got to the point where absolutely no one close to you would have believed it."

"We weren't involved," Filia choked out.

…At that time.

"You're lying," Rasmus said firmly. "And after what you've done I wouldn't expect you to be above lying. I wouldn't expect you to be above anything."

"Of all the diplomats that could have been chosen, the Supreme Elder picks the one dragon low enough to throw her lot in with a monster," Rasmus said bitterly. "Knowing him, I'm assuming it wasn't a coincidence. I suppose it's not enough that our species has already gotten screwed by them, you just had to literally—"

"Shut up," Filia ordered in a strangled voice.

"You're in no position to make demands," Rasmus said. "There's no way I can salvage my plan now, but I'll be damned if I let the dragon race fall to dishonorable dragons like you and the Supreme Elder. So all I have left is one final plan. And for that I need you."

Filia closed her eyes. She had a feeling that when her usefulness was over, then so would be her life.

"Where is the Daius Seed?" Rasmus asked in a low voice. "Cleon said you knew where it was. So tell me!"

Filia cried out as his grip tightened around her neck. She didn't know what he wanted with that information, but there was no way she could help someone like him; even if she had to give up her life.

"Now why would a dragon want to know that?" a familiar voice from nowhere asked.

"X-Xellos?"

"You?" Rasmus spat, looking around the room for the source of the voice. "Stay out of this! It doesn't concern you!"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it does considering all the effort you've put into trying to frame me," Xellos said, appearing out of thin air. "Though I suppose it was a bit careless of me to interrupt your little monologue."

"I will not allow this!" Rasmus shouted. "With the Daius Seed I can stop the campaign you and this girl have cooked up. Peace between the dragons and the monsters? Your blood should boil at that prospect! That, at least, we should have in common!"

"What you don't seem to grasp, Mister Rasmus," Xellos said, as though making a polite correction, "is that peace is just preparation for war. Diplomacy is just a different way of twisting the knife in. Peace can be much more vicious and unforgiving than war could ever dream of being. And in many ways it's more satisfying. If you don't believe me, then you should read your race's own history. It's full of colorful examples of just what I'm talking about."

"I'm not going to listen to this," Rasmus hissed. "You can't fool me as easily as you can fool her."

"Well, whatever the case," Xellos said, scratching at his hair, "I don't see how the Daius Seed is supposed to help you accomplish your goals."

"The Daius Seed is an object of unlimited potential," Rasmus explained in a frustrated tone. "With its power I can restart the war."

"Oh! You've fallen for the story that it's a wish granter!" Xellos said, clapping his fist into his hand.

"I haven't fallen for the fiction that your kind and the Supreme Elder have concocted because you don't want anyone to use it, if that's what you mean," said Rasmus coldly.

"And what if you're wrong about it?"

Rasmus took a deep breath. "I'd rather destroy causality than see a world where dragons are subservient to monsters."

Xellos leaned his index finger against his brow and made some clucking noises with his tongue. "Oh dear," he said. "Another dragon with a messiah complex."

"What?"

"Nothing," Xellos said, and the cheerful pantomime was broken as he opened his eyes and gave Rasmus a calculating look. "So, I suppose this is the part where you threaten to kill her if I don't tell you the location of the Daius Seed?" he asked, as though Rasmus was tiresome and predictable.

Filia had a strange realization that she'd been held hostage by both men in the room. Ironically enough, she'd been treated more gently the time with Xellos. Though in this case, 'gently' just means that he didn't nearly strangle her every five seconds.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Rasmus answered.

"Oh?" Xellos said, raising an eyebrow.

"It wouldn't make a difference what I threatened to do to her. This idiot girl may not have figured it out, but I know you're only using her. It would be a waste of my time to try to get the answer out of you," Rasmus explained bitterly. "But I'll get her to tell me herself in the end."

"Are you sure?" Xellos asked. "You should know that she has a lot of really stupid noble ideas in her head."

"She either tells me or she dies!" Rasmus screeched.

"Really stupid," Xellos emphasized.

Filia was feeling insulted. Keeping your mouth shut so the world doesn't turn into a nightmare from which there is no awakening is not a stupid noble idea. It's a smart one! Anyone could see that.

Xellos sighed. "You know Veize?"

Filia felt Rasmus's grip on her relax slightly. "Yes," he said hesitantly.

"There used to be a little shrine there on top of a mountain that looked like—" Xellos paused. "Well, it was a very distinct looking mountain. Anyway, running around that mountain is Kipler River. Along that river is a system of caves."

"And?"

"And that," Xellos said. "Is Valgaav's old base camp. Where the teleportation device to the former site of the Pillar of Light is."

"Xellos no!" Filia shouted, trying in vain to escape from Rasmus's grip.

Rasmus looked doubtfully from Filia to Xellos. "You're telling the truth," he said almost disbelievingly.

"The whole truth," Xellos agreed wholeheartedly. "The place where the Daius Seed stands is too far away and too destabilized for even we that can teleport to reach in one go. The teleportation device is broken, and will only take you part of the way. You'll have to fly the rest."

Rasmus hesitated for a moment, and then vanished in a flash of gold, leaving Filia to fall to the floor, gasping for air and clutching her neck.